"My Father/ My Husband"

“My Father/ My Husband” is a short story written by David J. Lawless. He doesn’t seem to be well known for any other stories. However “My Father/ My Husband” did win the Prism 2011 nonfiction contest. 

I found this essay to be different from the other ones I have read so far. Lawless is not the sole protagonist in this story. It is mainly about his wife. In addition, the entire essay is mostly a dialogue between Lawless and his wife, with the exception of a few paragraphs that explain the background info. In the previous essays, there was very little dialogue and mostly narration. 

“My Father/ My Husband” seems to be suited more toward an older audience due to the topics of dementia and alzheimer’s. In his essay, Lawless portrays his daily life with his wife suffering from dementia and alzheimer’s. This story is definitely one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking reads in The Best American Essays 2012. For the past two or three years, everyday, Lawless’s wife asks him the same questions. Are you my father?  Where do we live? Do we have children? She doesn’t remember marrying him and even insults him sometimes. “I’ve never been married. And I certainly wouldn’t marry an old man like you. Look at you. Gray hair. Big belly. Who would marry you?” (194). My heart went out to Lawless as he patiently answers her questions over and over again everyday, only for her to forget the next day, or the next minute. At one point, his wife even calls the cops on him for being an intruder.

Lawless uses the rhetorical device pathos in “My Father/My Husband”. Although his wife doesn’t remember who he is, he stays by her side and repeatedly answers the same questions everyday. Even though she doesn’t remember him, he is still her patient, loving husband. Throughout the essay, his wife often jumbles memories between her husband and father. I think this is because they were both two loving, respectable figures that were present throughout her life. Throughout his essay, Lawless successfully demonstrates his true love for his wife to his readers.

"True love"

"'You are not my husband. I never had a husband.' 

'Yes, I am.' He taps his cheek and leans toward her.

She kisses his cheek and they both Smile" (206).

Bob Phillip

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