"Killing My Body to Save My Mind"

“Killing My Body to Save My Mind” is written by Lauren Slater, a psychologist and writer. She is a frequent writer in The New York Times Magazine, Harper’s Magazine, and Elle Magazine. She also has been the recipient of many awards, including the 2004 National Endowments for the Arts and the selection of multiple essays in the the Best American Volumes. 

“Killing My Body to Save My Mind” is about Slater’s experiences of the side effects of anti-depressant, Zyprexa, particularly weight gain, and how it’s effected her health, self-esteem and family life. It  most likely is targeted towards a middle-aged audience, or people who have experienced depression or Zyprexa because they would be able to relate the most. 

In this essay, Slater first introduces herself as a pessimistic obese woman who is trying to get life insurance. She then explains her obesity as a side effect from the drug, Zyprexa which she takes to suppress her deep depression. At first Zyprexa works so well that she ignores her rapidly increasing weight. It isn’t until Slater gains an additional 80 pounds that she realizes the damage it’s done. Zyprexa not only has made her hefty, it’s also put her at risk for diabetes, cardiovascular problems and cancer. Slater knows that as long as she keeps taking the drug, she won’t be able to live past her seventies. But she keeps on taking it. 

Slater’s purpose of writing this essay is to explain her sacrifice.  She decides that although Zyprexa has many disadvantages, such as a shortened life, weight gain, and risks of cancer, she values her mental health more than her physical health. Similar to Murray, in “How Doctors Die” Slater chooses a life of quality over quantity. To her, being able to love and communicate with her husband and children is the most important thing in life.

I think Slater definitely accomplished her purpose of defending her choice to take Zyprexa despite the side effects. Many people put in her position would probably do the same thing. In addition Slater’s writing contains many colorful metaphors that capture the readers’ the attention. For example, she describes her depression as “a wet velvet curtain, heavy and dripping”, and her hunger as “a wolf after winter, when he’s gone a whole season without prey” (257).  Slater’s story is relatable to many. It shows that in life, we must sacrifice certain things for greater priorities. 

"Sacrifice"

"I'm killing my body to save my mind- and it's downright scary. I can practically feel the sugar in my blood, practically hear the crystals clanking" (260).

Tom Nagy

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